TPS Report
ACE Coaster Con XXXII
Day Four: Silver Dollar City
After the lights-on ride, it was time to hit the breakfast buffet.
It was awful nice of Josh to carry the tray with everyone's
breakfast on it, wasn't it?
If we were in South Carolina, I'm sure someone would tell
you this was a brown recluse. There are people who are
convinced that every goddamned spider in this state must
be the elusive brown recluse. Before you go googling,
let me point out that the brown recluse isn't even
indigenous to the state of South Carolina. People are dumb.
It's our final day at Silver Dollar City, so we wanted to make
sure
we checked out everything in the park. So we're heading down into the
Homestead Ridge section of the park.
Pictures cannot do this rabbit justice. It was a mutant.
It eats brown recluses for breakfast.
Let me get this straight, folks. You jumped in the wagon
and
rode from Nebraska to Missouri? Really?
Clearly someone sucked at reading a map.
We're now inside Birdle's Cabin, and this is a stove.
What was that I read about "no modern conveniences?"
I'm not positive about this, but I think this cabin had
better AC than the Best Western Branson.
By the way, would now be an inappropriate time to point
out how jacked it is that no hotel in Missouri seems to
have a freaking exhaust fan in the bathroom?
Apparently Missouri is under the impression that
their shit in no way, shape or form smells.
Believe it or not, none of this stuff was bolted to the table.
There seems to be a lot of trust around here.
Yeah, what she said.
Coming up right after that "fogged up lens cable car POV"
will be the "goose tries to eat the camera" video.
Clearly Josh misses the puppies. He's trying to
get the goose to lick him.
Yeah, I don't see a mark either. Didn't stop him from
griping about how he got bitten.
I have nothing to say about the goats, but it's
still better than if Karen was doing these captions.
Time to head down into the Echo Hollow Amphitheatre
for the Con Intermission thingy.
Much like my hat on day two, this shirt
came with a free bowl of soup too.
Who wants chowder?
Special guest today: um...one of the Herschends.
I wasn't taking notes.
Anyways, he came out and talked about how excited they
were to have been the principal host for the Con, and he
was pretty cool. And he recognized that it was 3,000 degrees
so he didn't drag it on.
ACE President Mark Cole presents Silver Dollar City with
what appears from this distance to be a legal pad.
It probably wasn't a legal pad, but at this point I was
hallucinating from the heat.
(by the way, unfortunate placement of a mic stand...)
Yep, this is why people make fun of ACE.
It's annoying because they're right to make fun of this behavior.
I'm going to a comic convention in two months and I plan
on seeing a much more normal clientele.
So that was the last of our Silver Dollar City days.
We exited the park around 11:30 and headed back
to the hotel. There was still much to be done.
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